Here is the story which i wrote half awake and half in sleep. short stories r not meant to create a nerve tickling suspense, or u will never get satisfaction of being read a great story. this is wat i felt after my attempt on to a short story. i cribbed on every short story classic discussed in class that too written by great authors, but i realised it now.
It needs a introduction , a plot , a setting , a intrusion and a climax. And it needs the characters to be developed thru out the story. courtesy: my prof. evangelina manickam.
so enjoy my story :P
Urban/ city = Setting
revenge = theme
suspense = genre
dramatic = technique.
THE AVENGER
“ Get me one more bottle” yelled Mallesh Yadav to a boy in shorts and without a shirt who hardly hit his puberty, working at the poor mans bar making his earning to give an extra hand to meet his families requirements. It was a slightly deserted place in the outskirts of the city where daily waged workers came to feel the essence of life , to get drowsy and forget the pain and hardship they have been through the whole day. But contrary to this Mallesh Yadav wasn’t present there to forget his tiredness there was a special reason for him to be there. The gudumba (cheap liquor) not only gave drowsiness by taking them high, relaxed them from their physical hardship, temporarily kept their mental problems away from their thoughts but it also instilled certain brave instincts, to be bold and do the things which in normal state one would never dare to. This was exactly why he was here.
“ No more gudumba to you , you already had enough” yelled back the woman who ran the place.
“ I need it. I need to take more and finish all of this once and for all” screamed back Mallesh , looking fiercely, “ how could he.. ..how dare he lay a hand on my wife…I never myself laid a hand on her though she did on me… I already had enough of him..Its either him or me who will remain to see the sun tomorrow” said Mallesh looking at his fellow mates who are all woozing by the effect of gudumba. The words were fearsome, his face has turned red with a murderous instinct, that shivered everyone to their bones.
“Stop shouting, you lousy scumbag, get away from here, you already owe me 120 rupees … next time you better not enter the place without them” shouted the woman.
Having been kicked out from the place, Mallesh took off on his rickshaw riding past the poor dwellings which would do well with a few repairs and replacements. After a while he entered the city with multistoried shopping places, the road was packed with vehicles people. The beggars sitting on pavement, chased every car that stopped by the shops, desperately trying to get a few coins. The tired shop owners were waiting to close their shops. There were small stalls on the pavement selling pani poori, mirchi bajji, with little children serving the customers. The people gathered near these pavement shops, with loads of shopping bags, chatting and smiling. Mallesh became even more disturbed and furious at this sight and thought, “these rich people always want to get more and more rich. They don’t even think twice while exploiting poor people. They should all be lined up and shot”, he though. He rode up a small bridge which was built over a railway line to regulate the heavy traffic. Riding up the bridge was easier for him this time as there were no passengers in his rickshaw. On his way he saw few places of worship mosques, temples , churches. They all blended in their respective styles. He approached better area of living. Where cars moved from ambassadors to santro and matiz.
Mallesh was a rickshaw puller, a machine created by a man to carry another man, by a man replacing the oxes, buffaloes and even donkeys to show that man is treating animals equally. His wife worked as a servant cleaning utensils and washing clothes in many houses. They had two children, a girl and a boy who where studying in a government school sitting on dusty benches, playing in sterile fields and who always lives in their own luxurious world where they have everything they wish for . Theirs was all a happy family before the disaster came smiling down their family. 7 years back Mallesh was affected with dengue fever and he was treated at the Government general hospital, which was supposed to treat him for free, but the doctors and workers sucked his blood to make their living leaving Mallesh with a debt of 3000 rupees. Mallesh`s wife borrowed that money from Ramachandra one of her masters, who was a Brahmin, and also a local priest. There was this belief that couples who are tied the knot under his supervision would live happily ever after. He was known to be a good negotiator and would settle any kind of disputes. This was the only side of Ramachandra that people saw. Ramachandra was also a cunning and opportunistic person. He took advantage of their miserable situation and forced them onto a bond.
As they were’nt able to pay that amount, he made Mallesh`s wife to work as their full time servant. Since then she has been working at his house and she did for 7 years yet he told them that still they didn’t clear the debt, naturally he was good at convincing them that. Things got uglier when Ramachandra started insisting Mallesh`s wife to work more and more and this day in particular he got rough and beat her for breaking a luxurious set of glasses while she is moving them from cupboard to another , which were presented to him by a couple whose problems were sorted by him. She even complained that there are many cases where he made a move on her. Mallesh was boiling with rage. Though he was illiterate he had this intuition that they were made to over work.
It was a silent street, unlike the noisy ones he just crossed few minutes back, he stood there in front of a duplex which was about a decade old, with a small garden in front of it. This was the very house where he dropped his wife early in the morning before going to work and picked up a dull exhausted wife later in the night.
His anguish turned into a violent outrage. He started shouting at the top of his voice in the street. The sight of his house made him go crazy, seemed like the gudumba did have a affect on him.
“ Raaaama chandra , come out you lazy scoundrel” … screamed Mallesh dragging his name to make it more appealing…
Mallesh could neither see the building nor was he sure if he was at the right place. Nevertheless he didn’t stop screaming.
“ The so called priest , the one who connect people to god ,... come out u bastard” shouted Mallesh
Inside the house, Ramachandra who was just done with his pooja, was taken by surprise at this development. He didn’t expect a low caste person to dare enter his place and confront him. His wife was equally frightened, but the only one expressing it. Ramachandra sat ice cold. The fact that all his neighbours by now might have assembled in their varandas to listen to this is more devastating. “Why do people always show interest in others issues, why they enjoy while others are being humiliated. Aahh… these people are pathetic” he thought to himself. He wasn’t left with any choice but to hope that the peasant would shout for a while and leave. But that didn’t seem to be happening at all.
“ the one who prays to gods , and one who insist on advocating morals is the one who is misbehaving with needy unhelpful woman who came to serve u” he said. “ how can u get so mean , pathetic and cheap” saying this he lost his control… he threw the bottle he carried through out the way incase he needs to boost his anger. It exploded on his masters iron gate and made a huge noise which drew more attention from the neighbours.
“ come on now here I am… it doesn’t prove your bravery with a helpless woman…now lets decide whose gonna survive.”
“come out will settle this once and for all” yelled Mallesh,
It went on and on and on
Ramachandra was losing his patience. He couldnt take it any longer his reputation was at stake. All the hard work he put in to deceiving people and the luck that haunted him to get this reputation everything was going to be destroyed. He realized he had to act fast. But he was too scared, “what if he picks a stone throws at him, wat if he attacks him.” he thought. The more agonizing thought was how the pride of his clan would be affected if he died in the hands of a low-caste person.
“ When your wife is still alive.. why do you want to make a move on my wife, you bastard” his voice echoed all that colony.
That was it, he couldn’t take it any longer… its better to die than to lose the respect. He wouldn’t let a servant’s husband ruin his hard earned reputation. So he got up, his heart was bumping hard, his hands were shivering as he moved to wear the white coloured short and the traditional mund, he put a longer tilakam on his forehead. He looked like the true messenger of god in that outfit. He took his wife and started moving to entrance.
The sight of him made Mallesh go dumb. Mallesh was shocked to see him. His very appearance was so commanding that he forgot his right to speech. The furious look on his face sent additional electric shocks to his mind. His heart missed a beat. He stood ice cold infront of him. His anger and annoyance seems gone hidden somewhere in the deep of his heart. He started shivering. He don’t know wat to do. He felt the only thing left to do is to wish him.
“ namaste ji” he said . his voice cracking.
“Mallesh Yadav.. is that you??.” Said Ramachandra firmly, while he was still trembling inside.
“yes ji” he replied
I should say I am disappointed in you. Did you intend to mean all those words you were using. You feel you were being indignant?? What do you want Mallesh. What can I do to satisfy your anger. Do you want to kill me ??” he posed the question to Mallesh
“ what are you talking master … you are my god.. how can I ever think of killing my god”
“ no Mallesh I can feel it. If you think killing me can make you a better person , and takes away all your problems i`m ready to die”
“ no master don’t use such big words “ said Mallesh
“ but one thing Mallesh remember I `m the one who helped you to get out of that bed when you were ill. I prayed to god everyday all those days when you were in hospital. If you kill me you will do me a favour by making my way easier to heaven”
“ but on the other hand .. you will definitely enter hell.. because you are killing an innocent person and it will be a unweighble sin. Mallesh He will be noting everyones sins and good deeds. This world is not big Mallesh, not big enough to run away from fate and God. If u don’t want to pay the debt which brought your life back then don’t pay it.”
“ but later wen this unforgivable sin haunts you and you end up with a bigger disease don’t come to me. Remember you will loose a helping hand forever and ever . Its up to you, if you want to kill me please feel free. Lets finish this once and for all. I will take anything with smile Mallesh”
Tears started rolling from Mallesh`s eyes, listening to all this. He folded his hands in reverence and fell on Ramachandra’s feet and begged for pardon.
“Its all my mistake , my mistake. I made small issue to a bigger one” he cried
“I shouldn’t have come this far to trouble you, sorry for everything, my wife is your slave master, you have the right to yell at her if she does a mistake… how foolish of me to forget that”
“ sorry for trouble master… I should’nt have done all this… I have committed a big sin, by doing this. How can I get exempted from this sin… I believe there is no exemption for blaming an innocent and understanding master”
“ she will work master , she will work in your house till the debt is cleared… thanks for everything you have done for us so far… till I and My wife can breathe, will serve u and pay u back if we cant I will make my children to serve u”
“ I misunderstood u for a while, please forgive me, I will never ever repeat this again. you are definitely the true messenger of god”
Saying all this he rose from ground took a courtesy blessing by bowing to him and Mallesh left, ashamed of himself for the act he had done.
Ramachandra left back into his house giggling in his heart.
